Day 1 AKA: not ever doing a diet again

I'm sure we all go through this struggle with dieting, I know I have most of my life. We try and decide which diet to do, and then try and get some morale support from the people around us. Then after we are successful on the diet we have to figure out how to deal with the new person in the mirror. I know that I've gone through this routine several times, and the whole thing just sucks. It's a mental game that I'm TIRED of playing. It makes me feel like crap, and I don't need any more help with that.

So..... I've decided that I'm not doing anymore "diets" because I've tried most of them, and they don't work. Well they do work some, but they don't fix the problem, and they usually just end up making it worse. You might say that I haven't tried "that" diet the MIRACLE diet that will fix all of my problems!! Well I'm sure I have, or at least one of its cousins. They all do about the same thing. Here is the outline of 99.99999% of the diets out there (and yes you will sense some sarcasm in the descriptions)

• What you are eating right now is wrong! You must throw everything in your fridge away and go buy the food outlined in this book, pamphlet, website...
• You must spend 3 times the amount of time at the grocery store that you normally would, because you have to go through several brands of each food to find the one that fits into the outline.
• If you don't want to spend more time at the grocery store, than you can spend more money buying the food with our logo on it. Because we did all the work for you, isn't that nice!
• You can't go out to eat and really have fun with your friends b/c they will probably get your favorite dish, that you can no longer have, and you will spend the whole time imagining pushing them out of the way and having that wonderful thing for yourself.
• You can go to parties with cake but you should eat your rice cakes before hand to make it so that you're not hungry at the party. ( If not being hungry would stop me from eating cake, then I wouldn't have to be on this stupid diet!! Just saying)
• Oh and I absolutely love the one where you take a picture of yourself and use a big red marker to circle the parts of your body that you hate and would like to change.

Have I gotten most of it? If you have any others I'd love to hear them.

I'm not saying that I don't want to be healthy, because I do. There are things that I want to do that I can't right now at the weight that I'm at. I'm very aware of that. I just don't think that making myself miserable by thinking about food all the time, to make sure I'm only eating inside the box is a healthy way to get healthy. Did you get all that?

So my plan is to find a gym that can work around my crazy schedule that changes from week to week. Once I do that then I'm not going to bagger myself for not going every day. Because there are some things that are higher on my list right now. Like spending time with the kids my mom watches, they're like family.

Earlier when I mentioned that diets only dealt with the symptoms and not the actual problem. I'll go ahead and explain that further. What I mean is that I think most of us that struggle with weight, are struggling with it because of some other crap in our lives. I think that the food is just an avenue for us to deal with some other kind of pain. I'm not just talking about being over weight I'm also talking about being under weight. For some of us food is a way to control one part of our life when everything else is out of control. For others it is a place of comfort when the pain is too much to deal with. I've also seen that it can be a way to shut up the emotions that we believe are wrong. I don't really know the answer to all of it, well acutally I do, God can fill the hole and sooth the pain, and let you know that the emotions are OK. But what I'm really trying to say is that keeping the hunger away is not going to make the problem go away. If I have a problem with the person I see in the mirror, losing weight is not going to get rid of that person. It will just make less of one to look at. So, that's what I'm working on. I'm trying to be ok with the person that is with me all the time, and become the person that I want to be. I'm confident that once that happens, or at least pregresses, the weight loss will happen.

Ok I promise this whole blog will not be about weight anymore. I don't know what I'm going to put on here, but it'll be more fun. I think I may see what you guys want to read.

Day 12

Today I went grocery shopping after work, and used my coupon book from Wednesday's meeting. I got a lot of different types of weight Watcher brand treats, to vary my meals. B/c until I get to where I will want veggies more, I'll need something to help me get through them. B/c eating carrots every day makes me want to wiggle my nose.

It really hit me today how easy this is going. I'm really excited about seeing the changes to come, and how much better I feel. I'm looking forward to being about to walk through a grocery store again and my back not hurt. This is something that has started in the last 50 pounds that I gained. Which isn't something that I like. So, it's nice to know that that will go away soon.

Another bravo for me is that I've gotten three workouts in for the second week in a row!! It's going to take some getting used to, having someone working out right next to me. But, I like how if I've made I commitment to meet her there that I won't as easily back out of it. So, that is the good part about having someone there.

I also realized that the only reason that I am accomplishing any of this is that God is helping me. He's doing like 99.99 and I'm doing less than my part. I'm so thankful for how this is going. Thank you God!

Week 2 Day 2

Today was my first weigh-in date!! I was kinda nervous considering we went to Cheddars last night, and they don't have nutrition info anywhere. But I got a chicken salad and enjoyed it, and shared a cookie monster with everyone. So, I made better choices than I normally do. I keep hearing the leader from last week say "make good choices!", with a smile on her face. So, I feel good. And what's even better is that I lost ........


.......3.6 pounds!!!!

www.my-calorie-counter.com     The webs free Calorie Counter

Day 5, Week 1

I have a confession to make, I screwed up tonight. Although I didn't go over my allotted weekly points I ate way too many cookies. I was trying to see how many cookies were in a batch so I could make the points. I thought that I had the will power to only eat 3. But I don't. I ate 1 at first but kept going back. I ended up eating 12. I have no idea why. It's not like I was craving them; it must be an old habit. I need to work on that.

But the first step to change is realizing that it needs to happen, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'm just going to realize that they are a weakness, and know that tomorrow is another day.

I think I'll go brush my teeth, which usually makes me think a bit more.

Week 1

This is week one. I joined on Tuesday, and went out to eat with my friend as our "last meal", which is a normal ritual for diet starters. But then I realized about half way through that I wanted to start that day no matter how bad it was. So I tracked everything I ate, and surprisingly enough I didn't do too bad! I went over my daily a bit but I just used some of my weekly points.

And then the next day my parents ordered pizza, which is my weakness to the max, so I ate till I was full and recorded that. Again, I was over my daily, but I just pulled from my weekly (those are why I'm going to be able to survive this!).

So, yesterday I did better I worked all day so that helped. But I took carrots, which were surprisingly not as boring as I thought they'd be. They were actually really good! I hope my tastes continue to change, b/c I don't really like most veggies; so I'm kinda worried about get bored with carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower. But hopefully between steaming them, and ranch dressing I'll have a year or so.

Today, I did so very well! I ate all day long and still have one point left!! I'm very excited. And that is even with having McDonald's Chicken nuggets! So, I don't feel deprived at all. Tonight I was craving something sweet though, and so I told myself if I was still hungry after making something good that I could have chocolate milk. Which seems to satisfy my chocolate craving for 5 points. I use ovaltine mix, which is yummy and low in points. But after a whole chicken breast and a salad I am full. But for some reason I am feeling hunger pains again. I think it's b/c I am still thinking about food. So, as soon as I get done here I'm going to go do a Bible study, which will hopefully take care of it.

I'm still feeling excited so far, and not the normal anxiety that comes with a diet. But I think that is b/c I'm mostly eating the same stuff, just less. I didn't realize that my normal bowl of cereal was really 2 or 3 servings. Or that I was eating that much twice a day. I think the tracker website is also helping, b/c I love computer stuff, and being organized. But most of all I am praying about it, God is the only one that can help me do this. If it is his will, then it will happen. And hopefully he will help my willpower, b/c I have none.

I've chosen 5% of my current weight as my first goal, and a tool set for a cricut machine as my prize!! The counter below reflects my short-term goal, and I don't have a time line for it.

Oh, and I am also doing Curves. Hopefully I can get 3 times a week in every week. I've done twice so far, and tomorrow is my third. And I do situps at the end, which I actually look forward to, probably b/c it means I'm done! lol

I hope this finds you well!! God Bless!!

www.my-calorie-counter.com     The webs free Food Diary

The reason

I just recently started Weight Watchers for the second time, and I thought that since I've decided to make this a lifestyle change that I would like to share my journey with others. I know how it is to see the end result when they act like it was so easy. Which we all know it isn't, most of the time.

I'm going to try and blog at least twice a week, and hopefully this will be another distraction when cravings come screaming at me (b/c they don't knock like polite cravings would do). And then hopefully you can see that you're not alone in this struggle to be healthy.

I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to put my weight on here, but I probably will b/c I want you to know that I'm not just talking about losing 20 pounds. My ultimate goal is to lose 237 pounds, or stop when I'm a size 10. That is the long-term goal, obviously, but I just wanted you to know what my plan is.

I would love for you to send me your stories, and what you've done. And I'd love to share those too if you'd let me; I know I'd love the encouragement!

So I hope that this blesses you, and that we can enjoy this journey together!